lean times

It’s hard to write when things aren’t going great, isn’t it? Easier to say things are fine, I’m good, how are you? Not to say that things are bad at this moment in my life. It’s just…lean times.

Lean times meaning I’m thinking about how I haven’t sold a book in over a month. Lean times meaning that a friend moved away and I still don’t know many people here. Lean times meaning with my husband finishing school and starting a new job, we’re spending less time together during the week. Lean times meaning I’m looking at my life and feeling like I’m not doing enough.

Lean times can also bring about good change, though. It’s definitely given me more motivation to write and connect with other writers. I signed up for a novel revision workshop that’s been amazing and I applied for some cool opportunities that maybe I wouldn’t have if my schedule was more full. And with this new period in my husband’s career, I have more time to really get deep into editing my current work in progress (which I usually need hours to hit a good rhythm).

Lean times has also shown me what I lean on. Some things are good, like reading fiction, making an intentional meal and sitting down to enjoy it, or taking a chance on meeting someone new. I have wonderful friends and family, here and away, and I’ve been trying to lean on them a bit more (within reason haha). Some things are not so great, like avoidant naps, or nursing feelings of being unproductive running right into guilt. With lean times, it’s easier to identify those things.

I’m not sure why I’m writing about this. Usually, this blog sticks to books and writing updates. But it’s all part of it, I suppose. Writing, life, experience. Maybe the lean times are part of a cycle, in a way. The winter hibernation ending with hunger and going out into a fresh new spring. I am looking forward to the spring.

I have been reading a wonderful book, though, and maybe that’s part of why I’m waxing philosophical this week. I’ve had A Psalm for the Wild-Built by Becky Chambers on my to-read list forever, and thanks to a kind lending, I finally have a physical copy. It’s a short read about a monk who decides to follow a new vocation and runs into a robot. The world is so richly detailed and hopeful (humanity, having ruined one planet, are trying to do better), and the emotional core of the book is really relatable. Best enjoyed with a mug of your favourite tea.


One response to “lean times”

  1. Thank you for sharing this, Brittni. I think it shows a beautiful self-awareness and that’s such a HUGE part of making change. Working on lots of that kind of work myself, so I feel you. Hang tight, sis 💕

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