because i keep doing it

Maybe it’s the reinvigorating trend of spring, but all this sunshine and fresh air is motivating me to do things! Things like reading more books about the writing craft, taking more chances on submitting my work, and putting more time towards making art.

Drinking tea from my favourite Maud Lewis mug, featuring her painting “Three Black Cats”.

There was a solid block of time there where it felt like all of my efforts to “get out there” with my writing were being thwarted. I sent out some work that got rejected. I applied for a writing residency and didn’t get it. There was a sense of major pushback. And the nagging question if I should still be doing this at all.

Self-doubt is normal, though. It’s part of every writer’s journey, and this isn’t the first time I’ve had to hold up a mirror to my life and ask myself if writing is really what I want to do. There are so many obstacles that I’ve come up against, one of the most significant being myself. Writing is about being vulnerable, about embracing conflict, and causing some not great things to happen to (fictional) people. These aren’t skills that come naturally to me, and sometimes it’s a struggle to push through these barriers and create something worthwhile.

A stack of books about writing, including Attack of the Copula Spiders, The Fire in Fiction, The Kick-Ass Writer, and Putting the Science in Fiction.

But it must be worth it, because I keep doing it. And I want to keep doing it. So I’m trying to read more about the craft so I can improve. I’m trying to get out more and connect to nature and my neighbourhood. I’m exercising my creativity in other ways, like making art and talking to friends and family about what they’re working on, what’s inspiring them.

And like I said, I’m feeling more invigorated, more motivated. I have two books to polish and submit to agents/publishers and a novella to fine-tune. There’s no shortage of work to do, so I better get to it.

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